Irrational Anger

What exactly is it,
anger you just can’t place;
for a four-year-old boy,
it’s anger without a face.

No memory triggers,
not a clue to explain its start,
though dad had quite a temper
that kept me on my guard.

The sins of the father
were passed on to this boy
though other family had it,
anger void of joy.

Does one cause the other
or the other way around;
does the absence of joy
allow anger to abound?

When spring-loaded to angry
little things can set you off,
with no joy to counterbalance
you’re a volcano set to bust.

Many things can cause it,
like the fear of being hurt,
depression is its soulmate,
a bruised ego, pride, self-worth.

But God invented the “senses”
and all the “feelings” to,
so anger’s not the problem,
my control-valve had come loose.

Because trying to be Jesus
though my own spec’s out of reach,
I’d set my sights on trouble,
my self-image surely breached.

It cost me more than friendships,
my aplomb soon flew the coup,
refused to try most new things
couldn’t take a chance and lose.

The key to beating anger,
stop reacting, start to think,
extend the grace I’m given
and love, forgive, rethink;

so to begin the healing process
I had to cut myself some slack,
since I know that I’m not perfect,
I can see that from my past;

instead of aiming for perfection
I’m walking with The One who is,
He’s taken this boy’s anger and,
given him a heart that beats for His.

Mason Swinney

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About menmourningmoments

I'm happily married, the Father of 2 sons and 2 daughters and 4 beautiful grandchildren. Death is all around us but somehow we've managed to distance ourselves from it. Men, Mourning, Moments is about how the death of my son awakened me to life & the desire to seize every moment as though it were my last. It's about making sense of life in the good times and bad and allowing GOD to carry me and teach me through the hard times in life.
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