Shaun’s Mythology, Year 6

Shaun, we miss you more than ever,
it’s not gotten easier over the years.
The road of life’s a hazardous journey,
the narrow road the one that’s clear.

We know you didn’t mean to leave us,
the road you took just a mirage
but the short term consequences
are the same, no camouflage.

There’s the feeling that I failed ya,
it’s hard to put in words
if I’d been a better father,
the Sirens singing you’d a never heard.

Heroin enchants like a nirvanic Siren,
their alluring lyrics hard to forget,
they trap you on the shoreline
then harpoon you to your death.

Sirens are sweet, seductive killers
who macerate you with their charm;
A cacophonic stew that’s purely evil,
roulette with a gun hard to disarm.

All we’re left with are the memories,
but memories are hard to grasp
and the photos have no feelings,
just generic pictures of the past.

Life rolls on interminably without you,
it will never be the same;
I guess you just accept it,
count your blessings, nurse the pain.

The “what ifs” continue haunting,
our own Sirens singing out,
and I guess they’re always lurking,
reinforcing what we doubt.

Your car and tools their own mausoleum,
an altar to what might’ve been;
your garden’s looking chipper
its there I feel you close again.

I try to keep it weedless,
to keep you clean, honor your name?
But it’s a losing battle,
I do to keep me sane.

I still wear your clothes and yellow jacket,
your siblings can’t stay long within your room
we all handle grief a little different,
grief has no golden rules.

The fleshly you is gone but not forgotten,
though some memories seem to blur,
but it’s good to talk about you,
words complete you that’s for sure.

The awkward encounters have mostly vanished,
some people just can’t bring you up,
but those that matter, talk about you
their compassionate look and smile are just enough.

I see you in the silence,
as melancholy starts to settle in
but I try not t’give it a foothold,
and let depression claim a win.

Tiana will be sitting with your Mother
when Kris and Shannon marry, become one,
so you’ll be there in spirit,
a silent groomsman, silent son.

The key to living life to the fullest
is unconditionally trusting God,
your passing not a final test,
but a test we had to cede.

There’s so much we just can’t fathom,
that’s what faith is all about.
But we trust that God is sovereign,
His will’s perfect though often roundabout.

Hope, faith, and joy our family lifeline.
We hopefully KNOW we’ll see you once again;
by faith we know it’s going to happen;
our joyous family reunion will soon begin.

Mason Swinney

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About menmourningmoments

I'm happily married, the Father of 2 sons and 2 daughters and 4 beautiful grandchildren. Death is all around us but somehow we've managed to distance ourselves from it. Men, Mourning, Moments is about how the death of my son awakened me to life & the desire to seize every moment as though it were my last. It's about making sense of life in the good times and bad and allowing GOD to carry me and teach me through the hard times in life.
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6 Responses to Shaun’s Mythology, Year 6

  1. sherry jones says:

    so hard to read Mason and I am sure hard but perhaps helpful for you to write. we have been thinking of you and Berta…sherry and jhn

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Sherry. I started the blog years ago as a way of dealing with my grief and it does help me and disciplines me to stop and think through things. I appreciate your love and support over the years and our continuing friendship.

      Like

  2. Candy Konkler says:

    beautiful Mason.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Amy Hughes says:

    Beautiful as always Mason. I love you all so very much. Shaun was so fortunate to have you as a father. He will always be missed.

    Liked by 1 person

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