It dawned on me recently that I’ve been in a hurry my whole life chasing “something” but to this day didn’t  know what that “something” was. All I know is, I still haven’t got it. I’ve always realized that I’ve been in a hurry no matter what I’m doing but never stopped to consider why I was always rushing. Sad when you think that after all these years I still did not have a clue what that “something” was even after all the self-help books and money I’ve spent on counseling and the stress I’ve put on all the people around me trying to keep up with me as I rush through life for no apparent reason.

I’ve heard it said over the years that when you’re ready to learn, a teacher will come and perhaps that saying is true because right when this thought about what that “something” was reached a critical point in my life, I get as a birthday present the book, “The End Of Me” that helps make sense of my rushing around. My whole life what I’ve been running after was wholeness and the key to wholeness, I’m learning, is coming to the end of me. Said another way, Mason has been trying to fix Mason his whole life but Mason can’t fix Mason any more than Mason can fix any one else. Jesus, the Great Physician, said that if we draw near to Him that He’ll draw near to us and part of that drawing near is dying to self. The amount of wholeness received is directly proportional to the amount of self we give up. The more my focus is on God and others the less my focus is on me. And, the less my focus is on me, the more my focus is on God and others and the more complete I become. 

For after all, didn’t Jesus say that the 2 greatest commandments were to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves. I’ve had it backwards all these years, I thought loving self was the standard for loving God and others. Perhaps it means when we love God and others, loving self will take care of itself. And, isn’t that what “completeness” is really all about.

Mason Swinney


About menmourningmoments

I'm happily married, the Father of 2 sons and 2 daughters and 4 beautiful grandchildren. Death is all around us but somehow we've managed to distance ourselves from it. Men, Mourning, Moments is about how the death of my son awakened me to life & the desire to seize every moment as though it were my last. It's about making sense of life in the good times and bad and allowing GOD to carry me and teach me through the hard times in life.
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