When did my anger start? If I’m honest I’ve always been angry. But now that I’m old I don’t try as hard to hide it. But, what drives it, what’s been the source of my anger all these years? I know “me” is the obvious answer. But, what is it about me that has always made me spring-loaded to the angry position? In a word, control! Yes, I’m a control freak, always have been and, the way things are shaping up, always will be. Just ask my wife or employer or friends.
While writing this I’ve noticed I use the word “but” a lot. Is “but” a control freak word like “regret”, our attempt to control our past. Or, like daydreams/lucid dreams, our attempt to control our future? I would have got my way but for circumstances, but for my lack of this or that, but for him or her, but for…..Do we control freaks use certain words more often than other people use them? Words like but, why, how, if only, you’ll see, not my fault, make me, who said……
It’s tiring controlling all of the activities of the universe so naturally we’d get angry when things don’t turn out as planned. Anger, but, control, the ABCs of every angry old man. I’m still trying to decide on the DE and F’s.